whn life seems to end....

went to this very very very boring party....just mechanical ga velli tinni vocham:(....
didn't want to go but cudn't say no to teh birthday gal.kahan rtc x roads kahan jhills.... but it was nice to b bac at crystal after a loooooong time (remember my 10th birthday party !!....ashwin anna in formals!! gosh half hyd was stunned n thiose pics were sold out!!) but this tim eit was not the same....in these some 10 yrs RTC x roads has changed like anything ...used to spend all my summer hols in amammaz apartment there par abhi it look sliek a totally new place....mom told me to get into 45 n come to ameerpet n frm there in an auto, instead of teh via koti route rohini sggested, rohini dropped me @ the bus stop n i was there waiting in a completely strange place for abt 20 mins.........no 45..........my heart beat started raising......it was abt 8-45pm.first time i was all alone in a bus stop at tht hour...probably it was tehfear of loosing my gold medal frm my purse (yea the same purse frm where i lost my dearmost cell)....thn finally thot ok whichever bus comes next i am going to board it n i get a 1 to stn ok will atleast get a 47 or 10H..... but i was not sure i fu get any bus at abt 9-30pm...awww......but i didn't want to get into an auto!! thn finally after an anxious 1/2 hr i get this 2 10z n a 47 Y to filmnagar....i ran like a hell from th 10H stop to the 47.....god knows why i got so scared .....i started breathing so heavily.but was relieved called up mom who was twice as anxious n told dad to pick me up frm teh bus stp.....i thot my breathing will get normal whn i get bac home...it didn't. stayed out in the cool breeze for long hoping it will get normal....it didn't.....finally thot sleeping wud help......managed 2 hrs sleep thn cudn't sleep anymore........walked all around the house tried drinking water no use.... mom woke up n was scared.......thot of taking me to doc.i didn't feel the need of a doc ...thn amma did some home remedy..... it helped a bit but thn suddenly i got so scared ..donno why but i got really scared thot i wud die tht very moment god knows why i felt tht way but i did....thn thot me n my imagination.....kani tht very moment in momz arms i was life oh god my folks can't live without me..n will i die without getting an admit frm UC?? strange me!!
thank god it was just just for a few seconds, else i wud hav died of fear.....donno whtz gone wrong with me after coming to hyd..my immune system has crashed.... i am so easily infected.....1/2 hr in pollution n am dead...with throat pain suffocation n wht not....
wish i die without suffering n i wish teh same for all my dear ones...